Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I think it's me.

I have days where I want to be around people, I love listening to them talk about everything. Even little things like having a chocolate after breakfast. But most days, I can't be around people. Little things annoy me, I want things to go my way. Either you're too quiet or you're too loud. You're too needy or you're too attached. You talk too much on the phone, you waste a lot of time. You complain about lots of things.

And yet, all of these things can be me at different times. I sometimes feel I will never be satisfied with someone/something. I feel I will always want something more, I will look for something that is not there and declare that what I have is imperfect and I can no longer be with it. I want to be alone, I want to have something to point at and complain.

Then there are those days where I love someone so much that the imperfections cease to exist.

It is so hard to adjust, to control myself, to not say things in order to stay in the circle of friends. I am not a bad person, I just don't like anyone.

Come, let's see how much I dislike you.

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