Today.

So, today.

I was (am) sick today. A bad cold infection, a possibly increasing fever. I slept after breakfast till lunch time. I woke up, cooked lunch for myself [rice, vegetables, ketchup (yes, ketchup. I was desperate for some flavour)]. I then treated myself to the Djokovic-Ferrer quarter-finals at the Australian Open. Oh what a match it was! I was literally at the edge of my seat at certain points and I must admit, Djo's playing amazingly well. The match lifted my spirits, I visited the doctor (there is a strange sense of, I don't know how to put it, enable-ment you feel when you go the doc by yourself. Not considering the loneliness you might feel if you're Very sick). I then went to the medical shop, came back, had some coffee and sat down to watch Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, after a really long time.

And now, after dinner, my body is demanding some sleep.

I'm disobeying my body to write this. It must mean something, doesn't it?

Music.

Ah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_BWZRxoO3w&feature=related

Sunday.

Time passes slowly on a Sunday. You wake up, not wanting to do anything. You wake up without an alarm, skip breakfast, have a late bath (or none at all) and have a massive, tummy-bursting lunch. And you then sleep. For hours. When you wake up, you notice the time has moved only an hour.

You wake up to an empty room.

The sun has set, you don't hear the birds.
Your neighbour uncle's groaning car,
Your Mum doesn't shout, 'Your coffee is getting cold!'

You get out. Oh, the prospect of life outside the gloomy room.

Outside.

There is someone else like you loitering on the other side of the road.
You smile. In empathy.
You walk until your mind is full,
You look at your watch,
Its x+10.

Back to the room.

Its as you left it.
Only,
You have to turn the lights on.

Time passes slowly on a Sunday.

Isn't it us who don't move?

Change.

Eyes open, what you see is not what was.

What was before, you don't see anymore.

                                                               Gone.

As quickly as it happened.

Maybe tomorrow will be a new day.

And then...

...

(The sun shone brightly, she shut her eyes. She took a couple of steps and realised she can't walk with her eyes shut. She opened them and quickly walked to the other side of the road where the trees shadowed the earth. There's no one around. She walked to the end of the road, smartly avoiding the sun in her eyes. The road split two-ways. A left, a right. Terrified of making the wrong choice, she turns around and finds the sun at the end of the road and trees on the left side of the road, beckoning her to their shade. The sun shines brightly, and she shuts her eye. She takes a couple of steps and realises she can't walk to her eyes shut. She opens them and quickly walks to the other side of the road where the trees shadow the earth. She sees someone in the distance. She knows its someone because she can hear he(she)(it) call out to her. 'Over here!' She walks to the end of the road, smartly avoiding the sun in her eyes. The roads splits two-ways. This time, unlike the previous many times, she is not terrified of making the wrong choice, she turns to her left and walks a distance to find a wooden cot with a cotton mattress covered by a blue bedspread with her blanket folded neatly at the foot.)


... there was nothing,




























but sleep.

Alone.

Sometimes you need a blog because you have no one to talk to.

Sure, there are people around me, there are people I have breakfast with, there is a girl I live with, there are people I share classes with, there are people with whom I have discussions outside the library.

But then there are times when I have something in my mind, but I can't tell them. I don't want to tell them. We all have different sides to us and this side I don't want them to see. Am I ashamed? No. Do I feel vulnerable? No. Some sides are meant to be kept secret. Private sphere, public sphere.

I have always been a private person, I have a lot of friends but I don't spend every waking minute with them. I like having meals alone every once in a while, I like going for walks by myself with some music (or not), I like watching movies at the cinema hall alone, I love travelling around the city by myself. Being alone, you see things you missed before. You smile at that split second moment when light leaks through bright green leaves fluttering in the breezy morning, falling softly on the path you're walking in, and you see every speck of dust that is there to be seen.

Maybe I'll write here more often now.